The day Vi asked me to marry me was, to say the least, one of the most exhilarating and happiest days of my life...!
It was New Years and Vi had meticulously planned out every detail of our Napa get away; from the exquisite heirloom-worthy engagement ring all the way down to the soft jazz, votive-candles, gourmet chocolates, and petal pink & red rose petals that awaited me in the room of our suite the last night of our stay. Yes, it was perfect...and maybe a little cheesy...but still wonderfully romantic!
Of course, to my Vi, this was just all a little too contrived and not exactly him. But the fact that we had spent our entire week of vacation together and we were down to our last night before returning home to Hong Kong (and Tokyo for him), I just couldn't help but think that tonight had to be the night...!
Wrong. After stepping into the beautifully set-up room, we cuddled up near the fireplace, ate our delicious BarBersQ, sipped on the velvety red we had picked up earlier, blew out all of the votive candles and called it a night.
At the time, I was a little confused but still hopeful he'd wake up from his early evening slumber to ask me a very important question. Unfortunately, he slept...and slept...and slept! Finally, I fell asleep too.
The next day, after we checked out of our hotel and began our drive back to San Jose. I looked out to the vineyard fields of mustard blossoms and quickly began to think of the year ahead, the long plane ride back to our respective homes and being separated again indefinitely.
When were we going to see each other next? How much longer could we stand to be apart? Should I just go back to New York? Would he ever move to Hong Kong?
The frustration of our long distance relationship started to get me on edge and my questions to him seemed to me to only tune him out further.
Vi was quiet for most of the drive, I mean, it was still the morning and a clear day in Napa which he probably wanted to enjoy while he still could, but he also looked anxious. At first, I thought he was anxious to get home sooner or for the moment when my soliloquy would end. But I would later realize he was anxious about something else...
The next thing I knew, he pulled over to a small vista point which looked out over the Napa River. I was still talking when he asked me to get out of the car. I got out, but reluctantly thinking he wanted to switch topics or do something else. As I waited for him, he went around to the back of the car and fumbled around his Tumi laptop bag before he came around to the passenger side of the car.
Still delivering my monologue, he walked straight up to me, called my name to get my attention and got down on one knee.
I turned to him and was in utter shock. I can't remember too clearly what exactly happened next because I started crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating. I said a bunch of things to him, which I will one day ask Vi to recount for us, but finally I got to saying "Yes, Yes, Yes, I'll marry you!"
He hugged me, looked lovingly into my teary eyes and said "I love you, Clara Chan"
A couple weeks later, Vi packed his bags again and flew down to Singapore. This time, to meet my parents and ask their permission for my hand in marriage.
He deliberately arrived to Singapore a day earlier than me so he could have time alone with them and have dinner. But oh boy, was he nervous!
For someone who has dealt numerous times with financial hot shots at the negotiation table or has hosted full-on social mixers single-handed-ly or finessed his way to a better value deal on his electronic purchases or cinched the winning wrestling trophy by doing crazy binds & headlocks, this should have been in the bag...but my goodness, did those nerves do a number on him!
Those of you who know my Vi Hang, know that he is truly a wonderful man who cares in volume and depth about things that matter.
Of what absolutely tops his list of things that "matter" are people.
Beloved family, close friends and esteemed colleagues/teachers are all people whom he takes great care to show respect, give time towards, and share his heart with.
That being said, my parents are one of those important people and that night when he had dinner with them, he was naturally, slightly anxious.
Of course, my parents are great people and like my parents-in-law, are also filled with the desire for us to be genuinely happy and in love. Seeing the commitment and Vi's will to love me, my parents gave us their blessing to be wed.
The very next day, we took a quiet afternoon walk together to the private garden behind our house. We talked about what life would be after marriage, the kids we'd have, the goals we hope to achieve, where we might live, and all that other important married people stuff.
Walking and talking, we stopped at an old tree from which a wooden swing hung gracefully from one of its robust boughs. I took a seat on the swing and looked out at the serene garden which bathed in the warm afternoon sunshine, while Vi situated himself next to me with his back flat on the swing and his head nestled on my lap. Quietly, in the middle of our conversation he asked me again, "Will you marry me?" I leaned down to kiss him and answered, "Yes, I will".
And that's how we we came to be engaged!
